1st meeting in 4 months...here it goes

25 September 2012

So tonight it all comes to a head..i'm back at my meetings as my leader text me twice last week trying to help me out as he knows the only reason i'm not attending meetings is because i've not had my monthly pass since may,so as one of the ladies that usually helps in the meeting is off i'm filling in for the next few weeks.

I'm so looking forward to getting back on track and seeing how much i actually weigh as the only scales i have at home at the mo is the wii ones and mine are never all that reliable,by them scales it says im around 11st 5lb,so a 9lb gain since the start of june,so on average a 3lb a month??

I'm just actually glad that i don't weigh as much as i did when i first started in april last year,then i was a hefty 11st 12.5lb,so i guess i'm still 7lbs lighter than back when my journey begun so i must have learned a little self control lol.

I am really really looking forward to my meeting tonight and seeing everybody again,i have certainly missed the social side of the meeting and know there are a few new products that look absolulty lush,not that ill be able to buy them just yet.

so i'm gonna upload a recent photo of me,i love the photo but i can see(and feel)straight away where the weight has gone back on,1st 7lbs to be exact since christmas!its on my belly and my face!!

anyway i will blog again tonight with my new official weight,n write how things have gone.bye people.



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LADYARTEMIS


25/09/2012 17:37
good luck with your class and WI. I hope you can get your pass soon. I have to cut some stuff out in order to afford mine its worth it xx

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Downward food spiral

28 August 2012

I just can't stop over induldging n its really gettin on my nerves,i have absolutly no control over this eating plan in terms of sticking to it,i want to do it more than anything but have just lost a grip on reality when it comes to food.

i had a fab holiday which to be honest i enjoyed much better than last year because i wasn't actually too worried about gaining,but last night i had a night out and away from my boys which was really nice but in the photos that were taken i looked absolutly hidieous.

All the weight i've gained back has travelled to my thighs and my belly,it looked like i was a good few months pregnant,i could've cried....but i know that its pictures like that that will keep me on my toes and make me wanna do something about it.

I go back to work on monday and i really really can't wait to get back into a routine of early mornings and having something that fills my day..i do at least 8000 steps at work and know that that adds to my weight loss,one because i can't just eat when i feel like it and 2 i'm on my feet for the majority of the 4hrs at the nursery.

i know getting back to meetings and my monthly pass will do me the world of good because its what i need and what i want to do,i'm gutted that i've wasted so much of this past year,i could've been at goala long time before now had i stuck to plan.

A few months ago i was given a kitten well i say given it i rehoused it,i already had a cat but letting my heart rule my head i jumped in too deep and got another one....i have had them both spayed but they still can't stand each other,my first cat is now pooing on everything i think in protest and my house is beggining to smell like cat wee,i don't have people up because i am so embarrased of the smell of the house.....i know i should get the kitten rehomed but it would break my kids hearts to see her go!!!!

its causing me so much stress,people say to just give it time but its been over 5 months already......help help help


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GONNA HAVE A JOLLY TIME ON MY HOLS.

17 August 2012

So its that time of year again,i'm off to my sisters house in great yarmoth for the week with my boys my sis n my mum....i'm hoping it will be good weather when we're down there so we can go to the beach a good few times and earn plenty of activitie points whilst i'm at it.

I haven't been to meetings since the start of june so i am really really missing it big time,however when i get my holiday out of the way i'm prepearing to go back on the first tuesday i'm back from my hols(27th august)and get back on to this journey that i started over a year or so ago..well 16 months to be honest.

i'm totally fed up with my body and measured myself yesterday...from putting on a stone and 2lb i have also gained the 3inches i lost off my body back,i've put on an inch round my arms too,however my thighs have not put any inches on at all??

i can really feel the weight in my belly too and it's actually quite uncomfortable,i'm going to enjoy this holiday and not be so scared to eat the food like i was last year when i went there,i'm going to relax and take it as it comes without over induldging...i'm not counting points as i feel i need to have a final blow out.

Anyway peeps hope your all doing well on your journeys,i will soon be back on mine...take care i will blog soon when i'm back from my holidays



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GONNA GRAB THE BULL BY THE HORN.MOTIVATION HAS BEEN FOUND AGAIN

08 August 2012

So last week(well sunday anyway)i was moaning about reaching the over 11st mark....11st 0.8lb to be exact,for weeks and weeks i've been counting pro points but nowhere near to sticking to them,so my weigh in day is normally tuesday but yesterday i'd already eaten breakfast by the time i remembered to weigh myself si i left it so this morning i got on the scales and it said.....11st 0.2lb!!!

I know its like only half 1/2lb but for someone whos been gaining constatntly for the past few months a little has gone a long way into making me feel like i can get back into it,and after all 0.2lb is closer to 11st than the 0.8lb is to the next 1lb up.

I know i will get back under the 11stone again because lets face it i've not got far to go.

I've been feeling kind of sorry for myself of late where my weight watching has been concerned when really i've been my own worst enemy and my own sabboter!!i've had enough of gorging in rubbish food and am ready to start again with the being healthy.

so lets have a look at a few bullet points here

*i started on 5/4/11 weighing in at a hefty 11st 12.5lb
*being only 4ft 10in i was considerd obese with a bmi of 34
*my first week i lost 5.5lb
*i had 12 consecutive weeks of losses between 0.5ln and 1.5lb
*by christmas 2011 i had reached a 2st weight loss
*at christmas i was 15.5lb away from goal

the above bullet points prove i can succeed in losing weight when i'm determined and have alot of motivation...now for some not to poitive bullet points but very very honest,theres no point lying to yourself when your body will track differently.

*since christmas i have gained 15.5lbs
*i am very aware of what i'm eating i just can't control it
*i eat mostly when i am bored and eat rubbish when i'm not that hungry
*by christams this year i woul like to at least be back to 10st..with 20 weeks i'm hopefull i can do it
*even though i have gained back 15.5lb i am STILL 12.5lb lighter,because of weight watchers!!
i acually can't think of anymore bullet points,but acyually the last one is very very important to me because i know i've gained over a stone back but i have not gained it ALL back like others who have given up have,i don't see myself as giving up i've seen it as taking a break,no way do i wanna be the woman i was in 2010,the beached whale video that made me start this...luckily enough i don't have to do school runs anymore as my youngest son is starting high school in september and by no means was i the biggest mum round the school but still kids can be nasty and to be fair most of my boys friends mums are very skinny,so i was the fattest one of the group...well no more not today!!

i'm not too sure where all this confidence and determination has come from but i'm gonna grab the bull by both horns and give it all i've got...i think its because i've got to that uncomfortable place again where i'm starting to feel breathless because my fat is accumilating in the middle...so not fair anymore.

Its time to go back to basics and to the drawing board,if i eat the RIGHT foods i won't be so hungry...if i eat an extra 25 points go to the gym for a few hours...its no biggy and theres no mole hill that cannot be climbed...i really wish with all this energy i could just nip down the gym and take it out on the cross trainer.
So i'm gonna sign off while i'm still very very positive and remember a bad day does not need to be a bad week!!but a good day can turn into many a good week...month..get my drift xxx happy weight watching to all my blogettes,those of you who are at goal and those of you still to reach it,we can do this!


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Enough of the school holidays already!!

01 August 2012

So its not even the end of week one yet and i've already had enough of my boys constant arguing,normally over the playstation...it carries on an i swear it will be taking a trip out of the window!!!

Eldest son is stressing out coz he's waiting for his long awaited controller to come and of course its not here today so its my fault....i should've got a quicker delivery!!grrrr 13 year old boys are doing my nut in(and their 11yr old brothers)

I hate not being at work...which ironicly is also looking after kids lol but i'm finding my sons mood swings quite difficault to deal with...don't get me wrong he's not violent and he doesn't swear in front of me or too me,in fact he says very very little unless its about a new game or science!!

I'm finding it hard to get the funds together to buy their uniforms and the older they get the more angry i get at their dads!!! i'm sick of all the emphasis being on the single mums that stick around to look after their kids..nobody EVER says anything about the dads..and some mums too who haven't provided a single penny for their kids!!!

I know this hasn't got anything to do with food but i am so frustrated with things,that i need somewhere to have an outlet...away from family and friends....though in a way it HAS got something to do with food,becuase the more angry i get the more i wanna eat...and sometimes go to the gym as i find that is a wicked stress reliever.

Just been a week full of arguments so far and the more arguments we have the harder it is to remember the good times we spend together,and the fun that we do have...i love both my boys to pieces but it would be so good for them to have a relationship with their dad's.

Every kid needs a dad in their life and i feel angry that neither of my boys have that...i had a brilliant relationship with my dad untill he died when i was 14 and i couldn't imagine my life without him whilst he was still alive.

Anyway enough of that back to weight watching..i was good today exercise wise,went to the gym as i've not been at work this week and wont be untill september..only for half an hour n burned 250cals....not even a mars bar i know but it was a good stress relief whilst i was there.

I hate not knowing what i'm doing with my day,i like routine and to know where i'm gonna be and what i'm gonna be doing which is why i love my job..its only 4 hours so i still get time to myself when i've finished before the boys come home.

ok this week well on sunday anyway we did go swimming,cinema and harvester too but it all costa money and to be honest its been in little supply,bad thing about being off for 4 weeks is we only get paid 2 weeks holiday so for the rest of the 2 weeks i'm down on my money by over half :(

boys aren't too worried as they do like the ps3 and computer but still i don't like being stuck in the house at all.....anyways i'm off to cook the boys their dinner sausages in part bake bagguettes..i'm being a little better,i'm having cauliflower cheese fron tesco...a whole 10pp worth and for the amount of cheese its smothered in its so so worth it...heres to maybe having a loss next week....won't be able to go to the meetinfg though as my leader just text and said theres no meeting next week!


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KCHATTERS1


03/08/2012 19:34
They wouldn't do it men like the perks of having children but don't like the hard job that goes with it. My ex thinks they are toys that you can pick up and drop as and when you want! ah well us woman are made of strong stuff so chin up girls xx

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MY MOTIVATION IS HIDING..HAS ANYONE SEEN IT.

31 July 2012

So i've not been following weight watchers to the T for a while now but i still can't stop counting my points...tonight i've been good and had an egg salad for dinner but i've also had..2 bags of oddities,twirl,7 jam n cream biscuits,square crisps,tracker,2 morrisons veg spring rolls...

I just don't know where my motivation has gone,i've not had my monthly pass since may when it ran out due to money problems and although i am still counting points i'm not sticking to my 29 a day..i'm having maybe 40-45 a day,although when i' have had a binge of some sort the next day i don't feel quite as hungry,si i think my body is trying to even itself out.

All i'm craving is total rubbish and because i'm not working as we're on hols till first week in september i'm not doing half as many steps as i usually do...last year on WW i gained nearly every week when i wasn't working...however i'd not joined the gym at that time.

Boys are on the computer day and night so they keep themselves occupied,so i'm gonna try for every day this week and untill i go away to spend at least an hour or so in the gym and really give it my all....mind you i'm sure i heard somewhere losing weight is 80% what you eat and 20% exercise.

i'm really really missing my meetings as i know they help an awful lot but i can't be spending 15 on a monthly pass when i still need to get my sons both of them new shoes,bags,one more blazer to buy,pe top and so on,it makes me so angry that neither of their deadbeat fathers have ever given me a penny towards their up bringing.
My eldest son has never met his dad because his father doesn't care,never has...not a single bithday card,present,phonecall nothing....my youngest son last saw his dad when he was 6 moths old because he went back to ireland and started a whole new family,just simply cut his son out of his life.

So its down to me and me alone to hold the fort....which i do and have done since the start,i've bought both my sons up,their dads don't even desrve that very title,a father loves and provides for their children,always wants to be there,can't bare the thought of being parted from their child........their DADS ARE NONE OF THEM THINGS!!!!!!

Anyway it just makes me so angry that they have missed out on so much,jack's dads parents(my youngest)was brilliant with him...they sent him birthday cards,christmas cards,phoned him on his birthday to talk to him(not that he ever understood what they said as they both had very very strong southern ireland accents),so i made the point of keeping them up to date with his life sent them grandparent cards on mothers and fathers day and sent photos of their grandchild to them...not their son!!they treated my eldest son like their own flesh and blood,never treated him any different. Mys sons paternal nan dies when he was 4 from cancer and then her husband never kept in touch...but that was more because she had all the addresses and stuff and they wasn't very big on words.

Anyway enough of my anger issues with their sperm donors...maybe the stress of finding the money for everything is getting to me and in return it's making me eat more...well that would explain the past few days not the whole two months!!!
I've just had enough of gaining weight and thn looking in the miror and hating what i see,i know PP works as it did when i followed it and know it will work again,i just feel so uncomfortable with the weight i've gained as i can really tell in my belly..where the weight has gone,oh and the most obvious place of my face!!

I just need to get my determination back and start getting some NSV again,i keep moving my goal date forward,but maybe what i actually need is to just get down to it and be strict with myself.thanks for reading about my moan,hopefully it'll be a better read when i start getting back into the swing of things and i see the scales go down.


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I DONE IT....THE RACE FOR LIFE!

22 July 2012

So people today two of my sisters,my niece and myself walked the race for life my niece done it in 49mins,my older sis in 53 and my little sis n me in just over an hour.....it would've been less but i stopped with my sis so she could go a loo!!
the atmosphere was absolutly amazing i will deffo be doing it again next year although i'm hoping i will be at goal...no scrap THINK i WILL be at goal.


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JO.SUTCLIFFE


03/08/2012 10:14
Aww thats amazing! I want to do race for life next year. I was going to do it this year but gave birth to my little girl and was too sore when the race was on. But hopefully next year I will be alot fitter in myself x

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nearly back to where i started.

17 July 2012

God i'm so annoyed with myself and being my own worst enemy when it comes to food,its another gain this week because i just can't seem to keep my eating habits under control its just ridiculous.i've got my race gor life this sunday with my sisters and my niece which 9 weeks ago i said id like to have got down to 10st again.
Now that just feels like a bad dream....i feel like ive let myself down big time and its nobodys fault but my own.i really do need to start again a clean slate so i don't see myself as the failiure that i feel i am.i was looking back at my slim photos and realise just how happy and determined i was to succeed.
i'm fed up with not ever being able to stick to anything but when we break from school for the whole of august ill be able to go to the gym daily for an hour or so.......i guess if i can't get control in my eating habits ill have to make it up at the gym.
i know this plan works because i did lose 2st in 8 months back when i was determined to never look as fat as i did back in 2010,i lwas so ashamed of how much i'd let myself go i really was.....i ceetainly dont wanna go back there but slowly but suely im heading in that direction and i hate it with avengence.
however as the saying goes i got myself into this mess ill get myself back out.......its my birthday 2mr too and i'm setting myself the new cgallenge of getting to a few lbs within goal by christmas.


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HOBBSIE18


18/07/2012 21:19
Hi toni no I've not been to meetings for a few weeks as I simply can't afford it at the moment and prob won't be back in meetings till the boys uniform and extras have been bought x I do miss them though loads as my leader and the people there are a great support good or bad week

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im so bad at weight watching.

04 July 2012

well people its been ages since ive been on here because ive just not been in the right frame of mind for weight watching...................ive not been for a few months now,ive been missing my meetings due to money and the kids always needing something new this week just 2 weeks before they break up it was a new pair of school shoes.....2 bleeding weeks i say!!!


my youngest is going away for the week so my eldest son and i arw going to my friends house in portsmouth.....ive not seen him for year n half!!! i dont know why ive lost my way with food so much recently but it seems the more i know i should calm down with food the more i want it.


My leader has been fab texting me and asking if id like to help out at ither meetings so i can get the meetings for free....to be honest ive just hsd enough of always obbsessing about food i want to be happy with my size......ive gained 13.5lb since christmas but on the positive side im still 1st 1lb lighter than when i first started..which i guess is something to be proud of.....i will get back on the wagon because i know it works when i stick to it but at the mo my motivation is nowhere to be seen and untill im in the right mind set theres no point in paying to gain weight......so guys thanks for evertthing ill be back after my birthday and at goal at chriatmas...that is a promise to myself


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HOBBSIE18


13/07/2012 20:08
hi janet looking brill i see i will be back in the swing of things very soon,you are looking fabulous x

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56 pp today...all weeklies gone -50 something weeklies

10 June 2012

So i have had an extra greedy day today reguarding food,i have used all my weeklies and then some...i'm not too worried though because this morning i hadn't gained and i'm pretty sure before i weigh in on tueday it will have settled down to either a loss or a sts...i did lose 1lb last week that took me down to 10st 9lb so if on tuesday i'm lower than that ill be happy.


i always feel so much more confident with a new batch of weeklies behind me and tbh fruit has been on a low this week,sometimes its just so so hard to afford to buy enough for the week without it going off,especially on a very very limited budget.

I do need to get back in the swing of things though and if i do go over my weeklies its not a crime as i very often make plenty of ap through the week because of my job to cover my pit falls,but i start every week the same saying i'm going to track every morsal that goes in my mouth but then accidently on purpose forgetting to put things on.

i haven't had my monthly pass since the start of may and i probly wont have the money to get another one untill the end of this month at the earliest...last week i paid for the meeting but looks like i may have to give it a miss this week again due to funds...but i'll see what my finances are like come monday.....

I will stick within my points tomorrow even it kills me...anyway i better go get my sons uniform out of the dryer....i know ive had all week to do it but i've been doing other stuff...more exciting stuff like going to skate parks..well taking my sons anyway


hope you all have a fab week and weigh ins...i'll keep you posted on weather or not i've destroyed any hopes of losing at least half a stone by the time i take part in my race for life on july 22nd.


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HOBBSIE18


11/06/2012 22:50
i do love crudities like cucunber,carrots and peppers i usually have them with a bgty houmous which is if i remember correctly 3pp.....i could munch on carrots all day,same could be said for pink lady apples too but they are so expensive,i usually end up buying single bags from tesco...i think with me alot of it is mind over matter,sometimes i think i'm hungry when actually i'm just bored lol x

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